Chapter VI – The Trip

A few days after I had contacted the estate lawyer, identified myself and given him my address, I received a letter in the mail outlining the planned disposition of funds according to the will. Aunt ‘Bookie’ as she was called by most of the family had left me half of a $10,000 certificate of deposit. The other half was to go to my Uncle Maurice, one of my father’s brothers who lived somewhere in Michigan. There were other $10,000 CDs to be divided among different family members as well. The list of the recipients was included in the letter. Carol’s name was one of them. I assumed she knew to look for me since my name up to that point had not included an address.
The letter also stated that the funds would be dispersed sometime in the months ahead after certain other estate had been fulfilled. I figured it would be sometime by the New Year when I would receive a check which was fine with me. Hey, you don’t rush a gift that was unexpected in the first place. My finances though very tight at this point could be tolerated.
I tried very hard not to project any scenarios of how I was going to use the money, but it was difficult. There were so many things I wanted to do with it, the most important being to use a portion to begin the process of getting a divorce.
I had already checked with a number of Legal Aid offices and had found one not far from home that seemed to offer everything I needed.
Basically for $500.00 they would prepare the legal papers based on a questionnaire I completed listing cause, dependants if any, property to be divided if any and etcetera. There would be another fee of $250.00 for court cost and an extra $35.00 if I wanted him served by the court in person. Ha! That last was a no brainer.
So I made my plans to go to the Legal Aid office after I received the funds from the inheritance then hold having it processed until after March 24th 2004. The cause would be desertion. Since the children were over 21 there wouldn’t be any issue concerning custody. As far as division of property, I wanted it all, the house, the contents, everything! He had left taking only a few clothes and pictures including a painting I had given him for Father’s day one year. He had even unhooked and taken one of the DVD systems in our bedroom when I wasn’t at home plus a number of DVDs. At the time I couldn’t do or say anything as I had never changed the locks on the door. This had been necessary for two reasons, one so that he could come and go to take the dogs for their walk and the other because if he did not have access as was his right, I would not be able to claim desertion.
So I calculated that it would take close to a thousand dollars that I would need for the expense of the divorce which was not a bad price especially since I now knew I would be able to afford it. It did make me angry though that he was the one pushing for a speedy dissolution of our marriage but too cheap to pay for it. However, I did not dwell on this point. This way I was in control and calling the shots. There was one more thing I wanted in the divorce. I planned to seek an additional cash settlement although the amount I had not yet determined. This was a risky decision and one I needed to think about carefully. I needed to make sure that any amount I demanded could be backed up and that he could not protest. It was not greed or revenge which motivated me, but the conviction that I had been wronged. Jim disserted and left me with a nightmare of bills and mounting debt. There was also the mental anguish of how I was going to survive alone and totally on my own.

For now, I was just going through the daily routine of working, going home, eating, sleeping, paying bills…yadda, yadda, yadda. October always seemed to do that to me. I did not especially like autumn. The weather, the falling of the leaves, the cold, the shortened days, these all left me very depressed. Jamie was spending more time at work and school and I saw very little of him. As much as I appreciated his being there, I felt very alone. I did have the girls over for dinner on occasion and I spend most of my weekends either at their house or seeing Elizabeth and the grandkids. The dogs and the cat were of great comfort but there was an ache in my sou; that I didn’t want to admit. I didn’t feel I had any purpose, any direction or goal. I felt my existence useless and wondering. Where was my ambition, where was my quest and joy of life?

Around the 5th of October I came home as usual, greeted by my four footed children. Throwing my coat on the back of a chair, I threw the daily mountain of bills & advertisements from the mail onto the counter. I noticed a light blinking on the answering machine. I could only prey it wasn’t another bill collector. I wasn’t in the mood. As I listened I suddenly heard a strange but very familiar voice from the distant past. “This message is for Sigrid Z …This is your Uncle Ron from New Mexico. If this is the correct party please call me at…”
Uncle Ron was my father’s baby brother. Also from Philly, he had journeyed out West in the late 70’s to who knows where. He had come to see me just before he left, soon after Jim and I had bought this house. I always admired him for his adventurous spirit and devil may care attitude. He had a true bohemian character.
This was exciting and so unexpected. I grabbed a soda, my cigarettes and went upstairs to my office. It was near six o’clock Eastern Standard time. I figured it would be about four his time. He had given me two numbers, one for his house and one for his office. So I called the office. He answered on the third ring. “Sage West Realty.” I tried to hold back my excitement. “Hello Uncle Ron…this is your long lost niece Sigrid.”
We both began to laugh and after that we spent nearly three hours on the phone catching up on all the news and gossip of the past 25 years.

Uncle Ron had driven out to California 25 years before and stayed for a few months. Not satisfied he had turned around heading eastward and ended up traveling over the mountains and come upon a city strangely illuminated at night with brilliant lights of gold, blues and greens. It was the city of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fascinated he decided to stay, getting a job with a local bank as a manager. He had a background for this as when he lived in Philadelphia he had been a top executive with one of the city’s largest banking institute. Later he decided to start his own real estate company and became a real estate broker with a number of agents working for him. Twenty Five years later, successful, he was planning his retirement in the next few years.
Approximately fifteen years before, he had tried to contact me but was unsuccessful, not remembering my address or the town where I lived. He also assumed that I had moved since the last time he had seen me. Jokingly he talked about his extensive search and the cost of all the phone calls and internet searches he had conducted trying to track me down. His first mistake was in the spelling of my last name. When he had gotten the letter from the law office about the inheritance he had seen my name on it and began his quest anew. But the letter had not given a location because Carol had not found me yet. But at least he had a clue. Calling other family members had not been fruitful until he had spoken to his brother’s wife Maggie. I had last spoken to Uncle Maurice and Maggie at my father’s funeral and after the services invited them to my house. Even thought that had been twenty years ago, she remembered that I lived somewhere in New Jersey. So now Uncle Ron narrowed his search to there.
He still did not have an address. And there was the possibility that the phone number was unlisted. But it wasn’t. Remember that because I had been trying to find ways to save money, I had removed the option of having my phone unlisted several months back. Sure enough, the operator had found a listing that fit his parameters. What did I tell you, fate and serendipity had led to this moment.
As our conversation started to slowly come to an end, he invited me to come out to New Mexico for a visit or more accurately a mini vacation. Gracious as it was, I knew it was impossible at this time. I didn’t have the money, though I did not go into that. I had told him of my current situation which is why he thought I needed a getaway. I told him that maybe after I got through the divorce process I would certainly love to come out for a visit but at the moment I was very busy. He did mention that his daughter Rhonda, who now lived in Kansas City, Missouri, would be in Philadelphia in a week to visit with some friend. He gave me her cell phone number and suggested I give her a call and maybe get together. I promised I would and I also promised to stay in touch. As we said our good byes and I hung up the phone, I felt rejuvenated and even found myself smiling. Uncle Ron was easy to talk to and had a way of making me laugh when there wasn’t very much to laugh about. Sort of reminded me of me before this whole mess happened.

As promised, a few days later I called Rhonda. My cousin was excited to hear from me but not surprised. It seemed that Uncle Ron had contacted her beforehand. She was in Philadelphia and would be there for three more days, so I took the opportunity of inviting her to my house for dinner. I was surprised to find myself praying that she would come, so anxious was I to have visitors from the family. She accepted and we made plans for the following evening. I gave her directions and she promised to be there.

The next evening we got together and got caught up on all the events of the past few years. It was a lot of fun and very uplifting. During dessert, Jamie came home and joined us and Rhonda and I regaled him with stories of our youth and family lore. At some point Rhonda remarked that she was planning a trip to visit her father in the next month, November. “Why don’t you come with me?” she asked. As much as she loved her father, she admitted that if she stayed around him for three or four days with just him and his wife Barbara she’d go bonkers. Momentarily taken aback I tried to think of something to say. There was no way I could afford a trip to New Mexico on my budget, but I was embarrassed to admit to it and I was trying to think of a graceful excuse for not going. I wanted too desperately, but I really needed to save my money. That was when Jamie spoke up. “Sure Mom, you should go. You could use a vacation. I’ll pay for your trip.”
Now I was really cornered and elated at the same time. How was I going to get out of this? But Jamie was serious. Between the two of them, I couldn’t come up with an excuse to say no. So we sat there and discussed how we would do this.
The plan was for me to leave from Philadelphia and her to leave from Kansas City on the same day and try to get flights that would put us in Albuquerque around the same time. She would tell her father she was coming but not mention that I was coming also. We would tell Barbara so that she could be prepared but the idea was to surprise Uncle Ron with my sudden appearance. I found myself titillated with the expectation of this mad and wild craziness but it sounded too much like wishful thinking. It was not until Jamie suggested that we go on-line right then and there to check out flight schedules that the possibility we could pull this off touched me.
We found flights that would put us in Albuquerque within twenty minutes of each other and we booked them immediately. Now reality hit me. The adrenaline was pumping and I was floating on air. In three weeks, I was going to New Mexico!