Chapter IV - Shock Wave

As spring moved toward the summer of 2003 I fell into a comfortable routine. First step was to identify all the bills that had accumulated during my recovery from the surgery. As usual, Jim had let them fall way behind, at least three months behind, utilities, phone, cable, taxes, and even the mortgage. It was the disaster of all disasters and he had left me with no savings in our bank account and had transferred the direct deposit of his monthly pension check to some other account he set up for himself. I kept hearing in the back of my mind how he magnanimously offered to “give me the house.” What a crock!
While I had been recuperating and unable to go out he had managed to get the mail and hide the bills and overdue notices and secretly unplugging the phone so that “I wouldn’t have to get up to answer it” leaving me with just my cell phone for “emergencies”. He obviously had been planning his escape for some time and like a dummy I thought he was being very attentive. His seemingly good deeds were never intended to be for my benefit. But now I had a choice, and I had things to do. It was my fault, my stupidity and now my responsibly to change. I could either give up or build up.

Second step…organization. This was my forte! I began by creating a spreadsheet listing all the bills and their due dates. I also noted the amounts back due which I wanted to give priority to and marking them in red. My next step was to contact all the utilities and try to explain my situation and to set up a payment schedule. I was amazed and thankful for their understanding and their willingness to work with me. I then took out a loan against the funds from my stock shares at work and paid as many bills as I could. As painful as it was to do this, I really couldn’t live free with all this debt over my head. Payment for the loan was taken out of my pay weekly at a manageable amount. Then I just figured out each week what bills I could pay with the remaining funds from my salary. I must say I got pretty good at budgeting everything to the point that I managed to get back on track within a few months. I reduced some bills by switching to only one phone line and not opting for an unlisted number and having only basic cable without the frills. Of course I still kept a few channels such as the Sci-Fi channel. Hey, I had my priorities!
Thanks to my son, who decided to move back home and insisted upon paying me rent I was able to manage the household expenses without giving up too much and I even got the mortgage back up to speed at least what was immediately owed. There was still the lien against it because of Jim’s bankruptcy but that was in his name and I couldn’t worry about it then. Not surprisingly, Jim’s promise to give me $300 a month always fell short and never on time. But I learned not to depend on him anymore.

By summer I was getting use to living alone and frankly, it wasn’t so bad. At least I had the dogs and our cat Pookie for company and of course Jamie when he wasn’t working or at school. Being able to come and go when I pleased had its perks. I could even stay out late with my friends as long as I attended to the dogs first. I even managed to take them for short walks one at a time. I was still hurting a little but I didn’t need the cane anymore.

One June weekend I went to my daughter’s house to visit the grandkids. It was my granddaughter’s birthday and I took both she and her brother out to lunch. During the outing I casually asked Christopher if their grandfather had visited because I was concerned that Jim had forgotten Stephanie’s birthday and also because I was curious of what he had been doing with his life. (Yeah, I was digging for gossip!) He had come to see them and had brought presents for both of them, including a game for Chris’s Nintendo. Jokingly I acted surprise mentioning how Jim was not very techno savvy and I hoped it was something he liked. His answer shocked me. He said, “Oh Robin had picked it out.”
Robin, that name! I knew that name! If I had been suddenly hit by lightning I couldn’t have been more shocked. So, the ‘friend’ he was living with was a woman! Not only that but someone I was vaguely aware of.
In the summer of 2002 Jim had needed surgery for a herniated disk. It required him to be out of work for a few weeks. During that time I had dealt with the paperwork for his leave of absence from work and I had talked often to the Human Resource Director at his job whose name was Robin. She would call or I would with updates on his progress and I had even sent her a ‘thank you’ note for the fruit basket sent by the office to him. I even put her on my Christmas Card List for heavens sake! Just how long had this been going on? Driving to the restaurant I was numb. My curiosity and imagination was going wild but I did not want to question Chris any further. I did not want get him involved or feel that he was betraying any possible secrets. I put on a happy face and we enjoyed the afternoon. When I took them home I said nothing to Elizabeth. Obviously she knew the truth and was caught in the middle. I would not add to that by asking her to compromise. I knew she loved her father and me. I didn’t want or expect her to take sides. This was my problem. Now I just needed to confirm it. After all, I knew where she lived.

That evening after I got home, I looked up Robin’s address in my database. Then I called Joy. The address was in the same small town Joy lived in. I told her what had happened. We decided to stake out the place the next morning, a Sunday. I got to Joy’s early and we headed out in her car. Jim would have noticed mine right away and this was a reconnaissance mission. Stealth was needed.
The address led us to a community of condominiums. The townhouse number was plainly visible and as we drove past it, there was Jim’s car outside in one of the assigned spaces. I had prepared myself for this shock wave. I was not upset, I was not emotional. I accepted the truth. The marriage was over. It was somehow a relief, and I was now truly ready to get on with my life.